In praise of the marketing rant

Angry toast

I’ve never seen it in a rule book, but I’m pretty sure a good community manager is never supposed to be in a bad mood. Not publicly, at least.

So it surprised me when I had a bad day, shared this photo on Raven’s Facebook page—captioned “When marketers lose patience…”—and watched it spread quickly.

Nothing is special restaurant sign.

Sometimes, it seems, people just need to say what they’re thinking.

With that in mind, I shared these recent marketing rants in May’s edition of the Ravenous Marketer newsletter. (Actually, I shared all of this, pretty near word-for-word. Repurposing content, folks. Repurposing.)

Whether you agree or disagree, (and Raven doesn’t endorse any points of view below except our own, and even then we argue with each other) you might be moved to action. That’s the point of any good rant, right? Maybe you’ll even write a rant for Raven’s new Squawk, an Internet marketing news and commentary website. 😉

SEO rants!

Angry cat

1. Why SEOs Should Get Sites Banned

No matter what the penalty or update is, there will always be an SEO there to brag about how they’ve never had a site penalized — as if that’s something to be proud of. —Ben Cook, who’s always up for a rant

2. Why I Hate SEO Tools

I hate SEO tools, and yes that’s a double entendre. It seems harsh, but I do. Tools make many SEOs lazy. Tools make many SEOs look better than they are. Tools, are just that. Tools. —Mike Wilton, the last person I thought would write this

3. Why Inbound Marketing is Incomplete Marketing

I’ve resisted using the term since it was first introduced. … Perhaps I’ll change my mind and start using it if that’s what the industry as a whole starts to use. I mean, I still want to make money—principles be damned! —by Jon Henshaw, the Raven co-founder who has been burning to write this for so long he created Squawk

4. Content Marketing Is the “Escort” of Online Marketing

Let’s just be honest here for a minute. 94% of the website owners rushing to grab a seat on the content marketing bandwagon are doing so with one primary objective — to get links. —Rae Hoffman, who has a way with a metaphor

Social media rants!

Angry Duck

1. Dear Social Media Managers, It’s Time To Grow Up

Stop reporting likes. Stop reporting followers, circlers, or whatever other locker-room metrics you’re using. Just stop. — Kristy Bolsinger, whose rant makes me glad I already wrote 30 Social Media Metrics That Prove Value

2. LinkedIn Endorsements and How to Turn That **** Off

First, I’m going to talk about why LinkedIn Endorsements are about as meaningful as having Paris Hilton teach etiquette classes to pre-teen girls. Once I’m done spouting off, I’m going to teach you how to turn them off. —Erika Napoletano, who would be disappointed about those asterisks

Your-writing-is-unoriginal rants!

Angry Tiger

1. You Can’t Content-Market Your Way Through Life

Instead of writing 5 or 10 crappy blog posts, do some research for yourself, write some code. Try something new, and then write a real good blog post. In fact, I’d rather read about 10 of your failings then about that one “success”. —Yoast, a.k.a. Joost de Valk (or vice versa)

2. Your Content Is Boring & Wasting My Time

Don’t present yourself as a Thought Leader without any unique thoughts. —Janae DeRusso, who knows of what she speaks

3. Do You Have Original Content? Take the Quiz.

It’s possible that you are terrible at your job, but it’s also possible that you don’t know what you’re doing is overkill. Consider this a head’s up. —Arienne Holland, who I can count on for at least one mini-rant a day

4. What 67 Unlikely Sources Can Teach You About Marketing

I’m not here to hate—at least one of these links is mine—just to tell you that these sources that can teach you something about marketing are officially taken. —Yours truly, Courtney Seiter, who disguised this rant as a list

Children who rant better than adults!

Why do all the girls have to buy princesses? Some girls like superheroes. Some girls like princesses. —Riley on YouTube, with astute observations in the toy aisle

Photo credits, from top: Psycholabs; Tambaco the Jaguar; f1uffster; and AnthonyGurr via Flickr Creative Commons

Courtney Seiter

Listener, storyteller and petter of all animals. Content crafting at Buffer; sharing stuff about social media, workplace culture, diversity and music.

Listener, storyteller and petter of all animals. Content crafting at Buffer; sharing stuff about social media, workplace culture, diversity and music.

  • Bill Bean

    Love it! Love it! Love it! More, please.

    • RavenCourtney

      Glad you liked it, Bill! I’ll send all future rants your way. :)