Hooray! No Black Holes! Go Science!


Hooray! No Black Holes! Go Science!

CERN flipped on the Large Hadron Collider today and we’re all still alive (yay!). Neatorama is helping everyone celebrate with their clever t-shirt idea. Their t-shirt says:

Hooray! No Black Holes! Go Science!

I Survived the Large Hadron Collider

You can buy the t-shirt at Neatorama’s Online Shop.

Update 1

Well, it looks like I spoke too soon. Michael Salamon is reporting on his worst fears being confirmed. He just received this email:


I am from approximately two months in the future. On 10/22 at approx 2:34am CET a tachyon field failure in the main resonating ring of the LHC causes a “temporal blowback”. Shortly thereafter, the resulting destruction of the strong nuclear force causes the world to vaporize in seconds, while a few of us near the experiment are thrown into a temporal causality loop.

While the predestination event (or as we have come to call it “The Big Rewind”) hasn’t occurred yet to you, for us it is about three years in our past.  I came across your site looking to see if there were any other scientists that may have theorized this phenomenon who may be of assistance in preventing it.  This brings me to my point, I have repeatedly checked your site for the past five rewinds at 2:34:01 CET and it still says nope, believe me at this point the LHC has most assuredly destroyed the world.  I can provide a bank account in Nigeria for the funds to be placed.  I am curious to the exact amount however.

John Titor
CERN Specialist

Scary stuff. Scary stuff indeed.

Update 2

This event keeps getting more bizarre and disconcerting. The guy from Half Life was spotted working on the Large Hadron Collider. Could crazy, murderous zombie demons be right around the corner?

Update 3

You can now keep tabs on whether or not the Large Hadron Collider has destroyed the world yet:


The best part of this page is the hidden comment in the HTML source:

<!– if the lhc actually destroys the earth & this page isn’t yet updated please email mike@frantic.org to receive a full refund –>

Update 4

Greek crackers (not the food or the pasty white people) successfully hacked into the Large Holdren Hadron Collider’s computer network. They devastatingly damaged a file. Yes they beat and tortured one file until it was unrecognizable. Those bastards!

The hacking attempt started around the time that the giant machine was about to circulate its first particles, under the spotlight of the world’s media.

On Wednesday afternoon, as the world held its breath as the machine sparked up, CMS team members were scouring computers at the machine for half a dozen files uploaded by the hackers on September 9 and 10.

“We think that someone from Fermilab’s Tevatron (the competing atom smasher in America) had their access details compromised,” said one of the scientists working on the machine. “What happened wasn’t a big deal, just goes to show people are out there always on the prowl.”

Apparently, the hacking stopped when one of the cracker’s moms told him to close his laptop and go to sleep.

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